November 30, 2017
Photo by Dave Kotinsky/Getty Images for Spike
It’s well known that rap superstar Jay Z cheated on his wife, but why? I mean really, who cheats on Beyoncé?
The answer to that question is much deeper than just a big butt and a pretty smile. Years of emotional trauma caused the multimillionaire businessman to adopt coping mechanisms and defensive techniques to survive. Growing up in the hood required that survival mode mentality. A mentality that allowed little to no room for emotions.
In an except from an interview with the Dean Baquet of the NY York Times Jay sais:
JAY-Z: You have to survive. So you go into survival mode, and when you go into survival mode what happens? You shut down all emotions. So even with women, you gonna shut down emotionally, so you can’t connect.
BAQUET: You can’t connect because of the way you feel about yourself, you mean?
JAY-Z: Yes. In my case, like it’s, it’s deep. And then all the things happen from there: infidelity …
As an adult, this inability to access and process his emotions led to infidelity in his marriage. Something Jay Z was intent upon fixing.
— Barbzie (@barbictta) November 30, 2017
So what was therapy like for Sean Carter.
In his words, “I grew so much from the experience. But I think the most important thing I got is that everything is connected. Every emotion is connected and it comes from somewhere. And just being aware of it. Being aware of it in everyday life puts you at such a … you’re at such an advantage. You know, you realize that if someone’s racist toward you, it ain’t about you. It’s about their upbringing and what happened to them, and how that led them to this point. You know, most bullies bully. It just happen. Oh, you got bullied as a kid so you trying to bully me. I understand.”
“And once I understand that, instead of reacting to that with anger, I can provide a softer landing and maybe, ‘Aw, man, is you O.K.?’ I was just saying there was a lot of fights in our neighborhood that started with ‘What you looking at? Why you looking at me? You looking at me?’ And then you realize: ‘Oh, you think I see you. You’re in this space where you’re hurting, and you think I see you, so you don’t want me to look at you. And you don’t want me to see you.'”
Mr. Carter also talked about politics, marriage, and being a black man in Trump’s America. The full interview was truly AMAZING! Check it out here.
SPEAK UP: Have you ever benefited from therapy? What do you think about the negative stigma attached to going to therapy within the black community?