Always a Bridesmaid

One of my besties just got engaged this past weekend.  We nick-named ourselves “the last of the Mohicans” and for years we would snicker at other people’s engagements and weddings but now it’s HER turn.  But before I lend a hand in all the planning or book a flight to be by her side, I must admit I’m a little sick to my stomach to think, I am officially the last Mohican woman standing.

With my girl’s recent news, I couldn’t help but wonder if the old saying, “Always A Bridesmaid, Never A Bride” is really true? 

It’s cool to support your best girlfriends and shell out tons of cash for a dress you probably will never wear again let alone like but at some point when does it get old and you say enough is enough?

For me, three is the limit.  I have a “three strikes” rule and I have fulfilled my friend duties in three beautiful events although the creases in my cheap polyester bridesmaid dresses lasted longer than 2 of the 3 weddings (2 relationships lasted less than 6 months after their big day).  Based on my “three strikes rule,” I thought I was done…right? But now that my girl is walking down the aisle, I might be changing my tune. 

Do you jinx yourself walking down the aisle a zillion times before your special day?  If you’re superstitious, then you already know the answer but if you don’t believe in “silly” sayings then here is something to ponder on.

Although blessed events, it can be draining to always be a bridesmaid.   You can go to the wedding and be a guest- support comes in many forms.  But is it necessary to keep being a bridesmaid when you really don’t want to make that trip down the aisle again unless it’s your groom waiting at the end of the alter? 

I know what you’re thinking – It’s not about the bridesmaid it’s about the bride.  Yes, your right (sorta).   But don’t sleep on the important role bridesmaid’s play. It’s like a supporting cast member (Remember who took the Oscar home for The Help.) You know your limits and I am certain that your bride-to-be-girlfriend would rather you admit it sooner than later.   Don’t ruin her special day with a fake attitude – I’ve seen it happen. It’s not pretty and certainly not cute!

It’s OK to say NO (sorta)! Being a bridesmaid should not be taken lightly.  I learned that the hard way.  There is time and monetary commitments that make the nicest bridesmaid second guess their decision to participate. 

If you’re tired of always being a bridesmaid but have never been a bride it might be time to re-evaluate your lifestyle.  Are you always running around for friends and family but never making time for you to date and meet the one?  Do you attend each wedding with a date for appearance sake and are never available to be introduced to eligible men? 

For the record, weddings and wedding-related events like engagement parties, rehearsal dinners, etc. can be fabulous places to meet eligible men.  If you’re serious about getting hitched, don’t bring a date to your next wedding.  And lastly, are you embarrassed to participate in the single ladies favorite game of catch-the-bouquet?  Don’t be! Even if you have a date, if he hasn’t put a ring on it, get up and go catch that bouquet.  That is telling him that you want the total package and it’s also letting other single wedding guest know that you just might be available.

To be a bridesmaid (again) or not is ultimately your decision.  There may be a silver lining in walking down the aisle so many times before your turn but only you know your limit.