Mailbag Monday: Ready To Roost


Dear Darling Nikki,

I have been dating my boyfriend for nearly three years,  almost two years exclusively and I’m ready to take it up a notch.  We have talked about marriage and kids but so far it’s just talk.  Should I give him an ultimatum?  I’m no spring chicken and I’m ready to roost.



Hey BLKGRL007,

A LOT of women have this SAME ISSUE. BELIEVE ME! But seriously, this is a TOUGH one because if you give him an ultimatum you will have to stick by it or your word and character will forever be ruined and if you walk away you might be missing out on something GREAT.

We as women have our OWN timelines and clocks ticking in our heads and men march to a totallly different beat.   I’m not one for long engagements otherwise known in Darling Nikki speak as “Extended Contracts”  but if you guys have discussed moving forward I have to ask  why the sudden halt? If you two have recently experienced a set-back or unplanned event (an infidelity, a baby, job loss, family issue) then there is your answer.  You have to give him (and you) time to get back on your foot.  9 times out of 10 this is why his conversation has changed.  

If you can honestly say there has been no recent “events” in your lives then maybe it’s time to bring it up again.  You have to be an advocate for WHAT YOU WANT!   I would try the conversation route again before the ultimatum only because once you open that box there is no turning back.  Ask yourself are you really READY to MOVE ON cold turkey just because he hasn’t married and impregnanted you yet?!??

I have been told that things don’t happen on OUR time as we like it but when its suppose too.

Keep us posted!

Darling Nikki

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