Black Taboos: Self Love


If you’re wrinkling up your nose as you silently think “ yuck – not me” this article might be just what you need.  Keep reading!   Why is self love such a dirty word?  And more importantly, is it really a filthy act or simply a natural form of self expression?

If you ask me, people who say they have never indulged are probably lying, but that’s just my two cents.  Celebrity Kandi Burruss has created an entire empire out of self love toys named “Bedroom Kandi.”  My point, somebody is purchasing and using them frequently to experience self love but who?

According to a study by University of Chicago sociologists cited on, data from 3,116 Americans aged 18 to 60 (1,769 women and 1,347 men) was gathered during face-to-face interviews.  This study stated that African Americans along with Asian-Americans and Pacific Islanders reported less self love while Caucasians were “the most enthusiastic.”

Is that a fact or is it simply that many cultures find self love unacceptable and suppress or lie that they indulge in the act? Hmm…I just am not buying that with the large number of African American males (and females) incarcerated that our self love numbers are significantly lower than other groups.   

Also, the study pointed out that self love is not reserved for singles or those not in committed relationships.  Actually, it stated just the opposite.  “In this survey, that turned out not to be the case. In both genders, a sexless relationship suppressed masturbation. Respondents who masturbated the most were usually involved in a sexual relationship. Having partner sex, it appears, piques interest in solo sex.”


So if you think your single girlfriend is getting her nightly self love on you’re probably wrong. It seems like those having sex with a partner are getting even more on the side with a healthy dose of self love

My two cents on that is knowing your body can only enhance intercourse with your partner so self love should NOT be off limits just because you have a steady.  You also should NOT suppress your urges for self love if you are single.  I am no psychologist but that just doesn’t seem healthy to suppress to me.    

Not convinced yet?  Well, are you aware of the health, psychological and emotional benefits of self-love? Let me enlighten you.

According to there are plenty.

Health benefits:

Self love helps prevent cervical infections and helps relieve urinary tract infections.

Self love is associated with improved cardiovascular health and is said to help lower the risk of type-2 diabetes.

Self love can help work against insomnia through hormonal and tension release.

Psychological and emotional benefits:

Self love improves your mood.

Self love relieves stress.

Self love increases your body knowledge so you can articulate your intimate needs.

Self love can help strengthen the intimate relationship with your partner.

So before you reach for that cigarette or glass of alcohol to help you unwind, relieve stress or fix your mood, what about some self-love?  You and your body (and partner) could benefit.

TELL US:  Why is self love such a Black Taboo?  Share your thoughts.

(The views contained herein are solely the views of their respective authors, and do not express the views of TV One. TV One does not take responsibility for their content.)